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Joke of the Day

"Whenever I'm down in the dumps, I get myself new clothes. They smell a little bit but at least they're free."

"6yo: I wish I was a bird so I could poop on peoples heads. 7yo: why do you need to be a bird? my 7yo is ready for twitter."

"What's the right age to stop running naked from the bedroom to the bathroom?"

"So I went to the doctor, and he told me to stop masturbating. ""Why?"" I asked. ""Because I'm trying to talk to you, and it's very distracting."""

"I wear Lacoste shirts with the little crocodile on them because when shit goes down I want crocodiles to know that I'm on their side."

"I listen to your prayers, but only to correct their grammar."

"Australian Police are on the look out for a serial Aboriginal basher I called them up about it, apparently it's not a job"

"My sister told me not to post a joke about the WTC. I asked, What Trade Center?"

"Donald Trump was born when someone put a pinkie ring in a bag of Cheetos and left it in a lightning storm."

"How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles!"