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Joke of the Day

"I just did one of those ""what noun are you"" quizzes... and I got ""pedantic"", which is an adjective."

"What's the difference between the US election and sex? During sex it's fun to choose between asshole and cunt."

"No matter how many times I call the hospital to complain, they won't recall my baby."

"Went to the corner store I bought 4 corners"

"TIL chimneys can be used as conjunctions They may introduce a clause"

"My girlfriend was really excited about squishing a spider.. I told her she was turning into a cold blooded killer.."

"I was just about to go and remind my neighbour to slam all of his car doors as many times as possible in five minutes, but there's no need."

"Finding a date on the internet is so much easier than real life because how are they supposed to know that's not your Ferrari?"

"My parents always taught me to pursue my dreams. That's why I take so many naps."

"I used to have Multiple Personality Disorder... But now we don't!"