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Joke of the Day

"My kid just asked me where Washington 3-D is, because she wants to see the presidents house...Now I can't decide if she's cute, or retarded."

"You know what the number one reason for child molestation is... sexy children"

"""I'm a huge fan."" - Peacocks"

"What do you call a pig that has never been tested for an infection? Uncultured swine."

"When your parents get old, you take care of them the way they took care of you when you were young. Which is why I gave my kids heroin."

"I have a degree in Female's Studies."

"The reality is men have no idea what women want... and women have no idea what women want"

"Captain America: I got the alert, what's the emergency? Avengers: Well, it's snowing, so... CA [handing over shield]: Last time! Buy a sled!"

"What's Asian on top and black on bottom? IQ distribution graph"

"Arabs have invented a time machine It's called Islam. It takes any civilization back to the 7th century."