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Joke of the Day

"When your parents get old, you take care of them the way they took care of you when you were young. Which is why I gave my kids heroin."

"Q: Ever heard of the wooden car with wooden wheels and a wooden engine? A: It wooden run."

"How many ants are needed to fill an apartment ? Ten ants !"

"You know it was a good shit when you come back and your screensaver is on."

"Wife: How many beers is that for you today, dear? Me: Like 4 maybe. 5 tops. Wife: I counted 19. Me: Well I rounded down."

"My wife is a sex object Every time I ask for sex she objects."

"What do you call a middle eastern man with a bounty on his head? A towel head."

"What's the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker? A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again."

"I had explosive diarrhea On the bight side i started the year with a bang"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Benny ! Bennny who ? Benny thing happening !"