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Joke of the Day

"I have a degree in Female's Studies."

"I got a pay rise in my job. At the end of the day, I went to the pub and bought a drink for everyone there. I like to be generous, even if they did feel a bit weird sharing the same pint."

"My wife accused me of being addicted to drinking brake fluid. I said I can stop any time I want."

"I joined a poker tournament with a bunch of people who do origami. I'm gonna dominate, cause these guys always fold."

"My Dad just told me I looked like Jesus. I think he has a God complex."

"Kiwis are just lemons that forgot to shave."

"What do you call a fake spaghetti? An impasta"

"I've started up a chip shop in Auschwitz. I called it ""Arbeit Macht Fries""."

"Knock Knock Who's there ? Cookie ! Cookie who ? Cookie quit and now I have to make all the food !"

"If youre giving mouth-to-mouth, and you don't want to get germs, you can put a harmonica between your lips and the victim's"