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Joke of the Day

"I broke up with a tin of paint this week. I'm feeling pretty emulsional. (CREDIT TO MY MUM FOR THIS MASTERPIECE)"

"Why can't you fool an aborted baby? NSFW Because it wasn't born yesterday."

"Do you want to hear a Knock Knock joke? Okay, you start it."

"""Can I get you to-"" YES! ""Great! Here it-"" I'LL DO IT! ""Don't you want to-"" MAKE THE CHECK OUT TO... - Adam Sandler being handed a script"

"How do you turn a duck into a R&B Soul artist? Put it in the oven until it's Bill Withers."

"If women ruled the World, there would be no wars... Just a bunch of countries not talking to each other."

"Why is it better to date a woman with heavy thighs during the winter? Your ears stay warmer."

"There's no way witnessing the birth of your child is better than seeing your luggage come out first on the baggage carousel."

"So John Travolta's career has been dwindling recently... I guess you could say he fell from Grease."

"wife: ""im sorry, he has to try everything before he buys it"" store owner: ""it's okay"" me: [lying in a coffin] ""the first one was better"""