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Joke of the Day
"Why is it better to date a woman with heavy thighs during the winter? Your ears stay warmer."
Next Joke
"I just found a halloween candy on my lawn and ate it. So I guess I AM able to live off the land if I ever needed to."
"My dog swallowed my engagement ring last night, but luckily coughed it out when he barked. There was a diamond in the ruff."
"What was the first thing Eve said to Adam after eating the forbidden fruit? Does this fig leaf make my butt look big?"
"Considering we've produced Miley Cyrus and Kanye West, I'm more surprised other countries haven't built a wall around the U.S."
"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. It was the S'mores of Pop-Tarts, it was the Unfrosted Strawberry of Pop-Tarts."
"Babies are 60% water, I can walk on babies, therefore I am 60% jesus"
"I'll betcha that Heimlich guy gets a lot of pats on the back."
"What do you call a company that makes Mexicans? A MexiCo."
"If you call the suicide hotline in Iraq they ask if you know how to drive a truck."