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Joke of the Day

"""Can I get you to-"" YES! ""Great! Here it-"" I'LL DO IT! ""Don't you want to-"" MAKE THE CHECK OUT TO... - Adam Sandler being handed a script"

"Why did the chicken cross the road twice? Because it was a double-crosser"

"Gillette researchers are really the best They got some cutting edge technology"

"What are cows favorite party games? MOO-sical chairs!"

"*I describe my lost cat to the cops* Sketch Artist: *draws my cat* Detective Dog: *adds WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE beneath the picture*"

"My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry So I threw a coconut at his face."

"the year is 2017: every kfc location has a large shower room installed inside the building to wash away the customers greasy post-meal shame"

"My son walks in on me masturbating. He asks me what am i doing. I say, don't worry son you will be doing it soon. Why dad? he asks. Because my arm is getting tired"

"God, grant me serenity to accept that people are ignorant, courage to uphold the law when I'm hostile & wisdom to realize murder is illegal."

"A german walks into a library and asks for a book on war The librarian replies ""No mate, you'll lose it."