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Joke of the Day

"I was watching women's volleyball during the Olympics and there was already a wrist injury But don't worry, I should be fine by Monday."

"How many catholics does it take to change a lightbulb? CHANGE?!"

"If you squint, Pitbull looks like a grown up Tommy Pickles from Rugrats."

"What tea do footballers drink ? Penaltea !"

"Time is not wasted, when your wasted all the time"" ~Benjamin Franklin (I think.)"

"Want his attention? Send nudes Want to piss him off? When he responds, reply ""Oops, wrong person"""

"Did you hear the one about the Jewish carpenter? I heard he nailed it!"

"My girlfriend and I have an intimate relationship, but she got upset when I was using her toothbrush. So I just said 'Hey, if YOU have a better way to get dogshit out of sneakers...'"

"My daughter has green eyes, she got that from me, my wife on the other hand has black eyes.. She also got those from me."

"I have CDO. It's like OCD, but in alphabetical order as it should be."