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Joke of the Day

"My daughter has green eyes, she got that from me, my wife on the other hand has black eyes.. She also got those from me."

"I always try to hold the door open for women I see walk by, so we can talk and get to know each other. But none of them will get in my car."

"How many isolationists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they prefer to live in the dark."

"Who was the best player on the Seahawks last night? The Broncos' center"

"What does a Kentucky girl scream while she is having sex? Get off me Pa, you is crushing my cigarettes!"

"As a German, I sympathize with the unnamed masses of the Star Wars universe. For I too know what it's like to be betrayed by an evil Chancellor."

"What happens when you drop a frying pan on a cake You get a pancake"

"More money is spent on boob jobs and Viagra than on Alzheimer's research! By 2040 the elderly will have perky tits, stiff cocks and no fucking idea why!"

"69% People can find something dirty in every sentence. And you are in those 69% :D"

"School humor Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home. One boy throws his bag out the window. Teacher: who just threw that?! Boy: Me! I'm going home now."