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Joke of the Day

"Rihanna should date Lebron... he never beats anyone."

"Rest areas are weird. The guy in the stall next to me has four feet."

"Who has one thumb and survived a band saw accident? This guy!!!"

"I was at a hat shop and the sign read, ""ALL CAPS MUST GO!"" ...and I thought what hypocrites!"

"I'm not a narcissist. Narcissists spend their time looking at themselves in the mirror. I don't need to do that to know I look fabulous."

"What s the only white thing about a black guy? His owner."

"The government has officially replaced all measurements of time with fruit. More news at banana."

"Driving Have you ever been driving down the road and you flick a cig out of the window, then a few minutes later you smell something and turn around to see your nan fingering herself in the back seat?"

"Clinton's blue firewall... About as secure as her private email server."

"Dear Americans: It's called snow. It's cold and wet, but can't hurt you from inside the house. It has no opposable thumbs. #AskCanada"