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Joke of the Day

"How many members of an identifiable group does it take to perform a common task? A certain number! One to actually perform the task, and the rest to act in a manner stereotypical of the group."

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"Me: Leonard Nimoy died today. Co-worker: From Star Wars? *goes home* Wife: How was your day? Me: Leonard Nimoy and a co-worker died today."
"I'm not dumb, I just have a lot of blonde moments."
"If you told them they would be on TV, millions would sign up for ""So You Think You Can Survive the Vacuum of Space""."
"[start of interview] Me: hi sir nice to meet you *i go to shake is hand but spill his coffee everywhere* Interviewer: ...welcome to BP"
"Bad news, I won the McArthur idiot grant, now I owe them a millions dollars"
"Pavlov is sitting at a bar... ...when another patron walks in and a bell on the door rings. Pavlov stands up, says, ""I forgot to feed the dogs,"" and leaves."
"So eBay takes 10% of your profits and Craig's List is 100% free, but with the chance of being murdered...such a dilemma"
"Go to a parking lot and put sticky notes on people's cars saying ""sorry for the damage."" Film reactions. Profit."
"Did you guys hear that you can survive just on plants? That is something i never herbivore!"