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Joke of the Day
"Hillary's so crooked... she needs a Kaine for support."
Next Joke
"Sometimes I spend whole meetings wondering how they got the big meeting table through the door."
"It is impossible to simultaneously keep up a) hope and b) with the Kardashians."
"Why does Mel Gibson never order a French Dip at a restaurant? Because it comes with Au Jus."
"Who never wants to be drawn at a raffle? Mohammed"
"Why do people say ""fat people are lazy""? Fat people get themselves food, I'm skinny because I'm too lazy to get myself food."
"Two condoms are walking down the street... They pass a gay bar and one condom says to the other ""hey, do you wanna get shit-faced?"""
"When I found out my toaster wasn't waterproof... I was shocked!"
"What is a pirate's favorite letter? ""R?"" ""Aye, ye would think so but 'tis the C he loves!"""
"[after solid first date] Ok play it cool, don't wanna seem too eager.. *texts her 47 years later* ""Had a great time the other night :)"""