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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter."

"What do you get from 3 girls from Arkansas? Damn near a whole set of teeth."

"What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp ? A bear faced lyre !"

"""If you removed all the arteries, veins, & capillaries from a person's body, and tied them end-to-end, the person will die."" -- Neil deGrasse Tyson https://twitter.com/neiltyson"

"Retarded people They shouldn't even exist"

"Rule of thumb: if the picture you took of someone doesn't look like the pictures they post of themselves, don't tag them!"

"Hey brotherrrr (by Avicii) There's an endless road to be disMOTHERed! Lmao"

"A husband came home with half a gallon of ice cream and asked his wife if she wanted some. ""How hard is it?"" she asked. ""About as hard as my dick."" he replied. ""Pour me some."""

"What do you get if you cross a snake and a hotdog ? A fangfurter !sna"

"Boy, is my face red! Fingering a suspect means something totally different at the police station, you guys."