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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend has a twin I asked for a threesome once and amazingly she said yes! Not only was her twin better looking but he was an all round great guy as well"

"Having a dog around pretty much denies any opportunity to take advantage of the 5 second rule on a dropped chip"

"Im not white im Jewish.."

"The cutest thing my SO does... Her handwriting looks like she has Parkinson's"

"Restaurant At restaurant, We wait for a waiter to bring order... Aren,t we waiter too..."

"There is simply no need to add ""NSFW"" in your bio. This is twitter. None of us have jobs."

"Asked my dad to pass me a screwdriver. So he gave me a double vodka and orange juice."

"Why was Henry the Eighth so fat? Because he Tudor house."

"What do a lonely astronaut and your thumbs have in common? They both hang out at the Space Bar."

"Obama proved a black man can even be president.. And that no matter how high up a black man gets he can't get out of government housing!"