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Joke of the Day

"Drugs have taken me to some really dark places in my life... Seriously, like really poorly lit crack houses"

"How did the hipster burn his tongue? he drank his coffee before it was cool"

"I just bought shoes from a drug dealer I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day"

"Q: Why were there two presidential limousines in the inaugural parade? A: The first one held the real president while the second one contained the president's spouse Bill Clinton."

"Where do werewolves stay when they're on vacation? At the Howliday Inn!"

"ME: *to friend* you're dumb as a box of rocks lol BOX OF ROCKS: *putting finishing touches on his astrophysics thesis* dude"

"NEWSFLASH - Greece/Euro Announcement The EU has just announced that with immediate effect all Euro notes will be printed on Greece-proof paper"

"My car's GPS has learned to say ""Your other left."""

"What do you call a cheap boob job? A discount rack."

"What so you call a bulldog mixed with a shih tzu? A bull shiht"