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Joke of the Day

"I just bought shoes from a drug dealer I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day"

"I just left my job. I could not work for my boss after the words he said to me. ""You're fired."""

"what is a feminists favorite branch of mathematics? Triggernometry"

"'McDonalds is the biggest sponsor of the 2012 olympic games'. We've officially reached the point where satire doesn't need punchlines."

"Two eggs boiling in a pan, one male and one female... The female egg says ""Oh my, look, I've got a crack"" ""No good telling me"" replies the male egg, ""I'm not even hard yet"""

"I'm hesitant to go ahead with my new plastic surgeon since he said he could give me ""the parts of an animal"" I was all gung-ho before, but now he's given me paws"

"I once had a goldfish that would hump the carpet, but only for about 30 seconds."

"little caesars makes an ok pizza but just think what they could do if their caesar was full size"

"Joke from WWII: The USSR's three greatest generals. What're the names of the USSR's three greatest generals? December, January, and February!"

"Why did the pervert cross the road? He was choking the chicken."