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Joke of the Day

"Jumper cables walked into a bar Bartender said I'll serve you but you better not start anything!"

"When I look up at the majesty of all them stars it really gets me to thinkin, when we gonna get that ding dong roof patched up!? Ah horse apples!"

"Why did it take the computer so long to decide whether it wanted to buy an Egyptian cotton sheet? Because it had too many threads."

"I wasn't trying to put you on a pedestal. I was trying to bend you over it."

"if you say ""summer"" in the mirror three times a white girl in giant sunglasses drinking an iced coffee will appear and take selfies with you"

"women are like pokemon, they were originally released for Game Boy in 1996 and now encompass a vast series of games, toys, and cartoo"

"What is the difference between Reddit and a fetish party? You might actually get me to sub here."

"Q: What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common? A: Everyone is happy when the case is closed."

"So. Like. We're all just gonna ignore the rapture that's supposed to happen?"

"A skelington walks into a bar orders a beer and a mop"