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Joke of the Day

"A skelington walks into a bar orders a beer and a mop"

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"Two tampons are walking down the street towards you, which one says hello? Neither, they're both stuck up cunts!"
"*meets girl for coffee* *sets down blueprints for bank* ""What's this?"" Your dating profile said you were looking for a partner in crime"
"France and Italy go to war. Who wins? Neither. France surrenders and Italy switches sides"
"What's the difference between half a dozen dicks and the truth? You can't handle the truth."
"How do you get a Jewish girl's number? Roll up her sleeves"
"What is a Jedi's favorite salad dressing? Skywalker Ranch."
"The secret to sustaining a happy marriage is to keep the mystery alive. So tonight I decided to clean something unexpectedly."
"Cherish your high school friendships, those people will be strangers for the rest of your life."
"How does a nucleus get out of prison? Through the cell wall. *Badum tss* :D"