90117

Joke of the Day

"I'm starting a secret society for people who have been banned from other secret societies. It's called The Illuminaughty. (Don't tell anyone, though. It's a secret.)"

"What kind of drink does a ghetto drinks? A GHETTOrade"

"How did Jesus stay in shape? Crossfit"

"I've made many sacrifices to get where I am today. Most of them were children."

"Spilled my bottle of sleeping pills, and now they're wide awake."

"Most young lives are lost not because of seat belts, but because the defibrillator needs you to sign into Facebook first."

"I went to an owl party last night. Contrary to my expectations it wasn't very much fun at all."

"How deep is the average vagina Deep enough for a man to lose his house, car, his dog and half his assets"

"How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light-bulb? None. Don't worry about me, I'll just sit here in the dark."

"If you come home after work and your wife greets you saying she got a massive pay raise from her boss at work, remember to not kiss her on the lips."