90117

Joke of the Day

"I'm starting a secret society for people who have been banned from other secret societies. It's called The Illuminaughty. (Don't tell anyone, though. It's a secret.)"

"How many Brazilians does it take to change a lightbulb? One Brazillion."

"What do you call a women with one leg? Aileen Unless she's Asian, then you call her Irene."

"I just saw 2 blondes walk into a bar. You'd think after the first one did, the second one would have stopped."

"Take your husband's last name. Take his first name. Take his social. Assume his identity. Hide the body in a closet. You're the husband now."

"Have you heard about the man born with five cocks? His pants fit him like a glove."

"True self control is waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn."

"Kanye West is still performing at the Pan Am closing ceremony. Looks like the petition didn't Pan out."

"Studies show that men who have sex more often tend to have a longer life expectancy. Unless your wife finds out."

"When I catch my dog sleeping, I shave dicks into his fur."