90115

Joke of the Day

"When life gave them lemons, the people at countrytime still decided to make artificial bullshit instead of actual lemonade."

"How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? 0"

"Hey guys quick question, can you put a pin back in a grenade? Gonna need a fast answer for this one..."

"2 condoms are walking down the street and pass a gay bar... One turns to the other and says ""Hey, you wanna go get shit faced?"""

"Take your husband's last name. Take his first name. Take his social. Assume his identity. Hide the body in a closet. You're the husband now."

"I finally found out why guys get married because wives are cheaper than spending all you're money on whores."

"Why did the spy steal the laptop? It had a sticker that said 'intel inside'."

"Why wouldn't the two tampons speak to each other? Because they were both stuck-up cunts."

"How do you know statisticians are always serious? They mean what they say."

"While shopping, look for this marker on where the gluten free aisle is at. You'll see a man with a gun to his mouth. Because, you know, bullets are gluten free."