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Joke of the Day

"Hey guys quick question, can you put a pin back in a grenade? Gonna need a fast answer for this one..."

"What is green and smells like red paint? Green paint. Haha"

"My 82 year old grandmother is still healthy and active. She doesn't even need glasses. She drinks her whiskey straight from the bottle."

"If your problem can't be solved by me saying ""that's messed up"" and nodding a lot, then you shouldn't come to me for help"

"What did the Spanish firefighter name his twin sons? Jose and Hose B"

"What is your name? Hugh Mungus"

"Bill Gates walks into a Apple Store.... and as he is looking at the ipad he farts. He takes a whiff and says to an employee, you need to buy some windows."

"I like making babies... Unsuccessfully, of course."

"No one sleeps with Gandalf because it takes him until first light on the fifth day to come."

"Did you hear about the new corduroy pillowcases? They're making head lines!"