142287

Joke of the Day

"Why can't you take a shower with a pokemon? Cause they'll Pikachu"

"*pulls out stack of pancakes and completely stuffs mouth during interview* Nexft queffstun pleeazse ""Umm. Your biggest weakness?"" Panfccakes"

"[Vegan Conference] Announcer: While we await our key speaker, please talk among yourselves Vegan: I'm a vegan Vegan2: I'm also a vegan"

"How does Harry Potter get down a hill? By running. J.K! Rowling."

"Why did the ""pervert"" cross the road? Because his dick was stuck in the cbicken! Hahahaha"

"I was going to get my certification to be an official Life Coach!... ...but I just never really got around to it."

"LPT: When cooking chicken, it needs a lot of support Alone, it tastes absolutely fowl."

"I'm tried starting a club for hipsters I got quite a few to sign up until they heard it was getting popular"

"US Forces have just liberated thousands of ISIS sex slaves... All the goats and other livestock are being moved to an undisclosed location and are awaiting to be reunited with their farmers."

"I wonder if God ever looks down at the waste I've made of my life and thinks to himself, ""He should have been an opossum."""