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Joke of the Day

"An elderly woman was at the doctor's office... She asked why she was so sore all the time. He replied, jokingly, ""A dissipated youth?"" She replied, ""I wish I could remember him!"""

"Don't you hate it when you think you're about to fart and you shit on your Dad's face?"

"Reddit knock knock joke Knock knock..who's there...go away the punchline is private!!"

"Why did the cowboy buy a Dachshund To get a long little doggy"

"Gonna pay my grandma $100 to slip ""Syrian Refugee 1 and 2"" onto the Thanksgiving seating chart to piss off my uncles."

"Q: What did a blind boy's parent's do to punish him? A: Rearranged the furniture"

"If your key ring is full of keychains with clever sayings, plus a stick filled with glittery water, I know you had a baby in high school."

"Took nephew out for lunch. The waitress asked what he'd like. After a stunned silence, I explained 'quiche' was not pronounced 'quickie'."

"What part of a vegetable is the hardest to eat? The wheelchair."

"Some are mad Trump won. Others are mad that the anti-Trumps are mad. I'm mad that you open up a new bag of chips and it's only 1/3 full."