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Joke of the Day

"Took nephew out for lunch. The waitress asked what he'd like. After a stunned silence, I explained 'quiche' was not pronounced 'quickie'."

"Two peanuts are walking through Central Park. One was a salted."

"My internet connection on my farm was be terrible until I moved the router in the horse barn. Now I have stable WiFi."

"What would you call a very funny mountain? Hill Arious!"

"I'm proud of anyone who has quit doing drugs and alcohol, I don't want to hang out with you now but I'm still proud..."

"Mum Can I have a dog for Christmas ? No you can have turkey like everyone else !"

"Why didn't the man go under the boardwalk? He doesn't like giving in to pier pressure."

"Once, in 2006, I stayed off the internet for an entire 19 minutes."

"What do you call a black guy that flys a plane? A pilot, you racist!"

"They say the heart is the most resilient organ... it can really take a beating."