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Joke of the Day

"Took nephew out for lunch. The waitress asked what he'd like. After a stunned silence, I explained 'quiche' was not pronounced 'quickie'."

"I changed my password to ""incorrect"" So when I forget it my computer will tell me ""your password is incorrect"""

"Plato walks into a bar. And he realises that the bar is not a real bar. In fact, it contains the concept of 'a bar'. Then, with an amazed face, he says: ""This bar is ideal!"""

"With all the bad luck that the US has seen this year... You'd almost think this country was built on an ancient Indian burial ground. Happy Thanksgiving!"

"There are four Mexicans, one Chinese person, and three black people standing on your lawn. What do you have? A sprinkler system. Spic, spic, spic, spic, chink! Nigga, nigga, nigga."

"Enter the dragon Q: What do you call a martial arts expert with a sore patella? A: Bruised knee"

"Why do I only see lesbian couples holding hands? Aren't their hands clammy enough as it is..."

"Why do rabbits love beer? Because it's made of hops."

"Having sex on when your so is on her period isn't funny. You guys are just bloody dickheads."

"It's funny how different the Clintons turned out... One has a stick up her ass and the other is trying to put his stick in everyone else's ass!"