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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between a baby and a bag of cocaine? Eric Clapton would NEVER drop a bag of cocaine."

"I drank 2 energy drinks to keep me aware while I drive but the only thing I'm aware of now is how many inanimate objects have jazz hands."

"What's the hardest part about nailing a dead baby to a tree? My dick."

"When life hands you 3 kids..... You add the lemons to some vodka and hide in the closet."

"What did ""O"" said to ""Q""? ""Dude, your *thing* is hanging out"""

"Today, the doctor told me that the bottom of my heart has stopped functioning. My girlfriend will be disappointed; that's the part I loved her from."

"Fuck you KFC with your ""we don't serve hot dogs"" and your ""we don't accept $30 bills""."

"Popsicle sticks are depressing."

"Whew, good thing there's a facebook petition for ending the shutdown, or else we'd be in real trouble."

"What did the spice scream during sex? Thyme cumin!"