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Joke of the Day
"Why was the bottle laying down? someone flipped it."
Next Joke
"LPT: If you're in public and you need to fart Don't hold it in, because it'll go to your brain and that's where shitty ideas come from."
"If you want to be happy... For an hour, buy some ice cream. For a day, see a movie. For a week, go on vacation. For a month, get a new pet. For a year, get married."
"What do you call a horny herbaceous bread mixture? Dill dough"
"The #AshleyMadisonHack is getting out of hand. Site just revealed that I've been cheating on my diet. I'm not even sure how they'd know that"
"I Like My Coffe Like I Like My Slaves Free"
"Hey kids! Make your voice heard this election day by hiding your parents identification! (Not applicable in some states)"
"How was copper wire invented? Someone threw a penny between two jews"
"Sign: ""No alcohol past this point."" Translation: Bet you can't chug this entire beer, right now."
"I thought getting a vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant. Apparently it just changes the color of the baby."