900

Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Iceland and Ireland? A consonant."

"I time-travel quite frequently, ... I'd go to bed around midnight, and in few seconds I'd wake up to, lo and behold, 9 AM."

"What medications do I take? I'm not sure. The names on my neighbor's prescription bottles are ridiculously long"

"Communists only write in lowercase letters because they hate Capitalism."

"Walked out the pub the other night and seen a bloke at the end of the road with a broken down car. I said ""what's the matter mate?"" he said ""piston broke"" I said ""so am I!"" and stumbled home."

"I love when a girl posts a selfie with ""no filter"" but the shit is so blown out you can't even see her nose."

"My wife agreed to a threesome with two girls. She was inexplicably livid when I told her she was neither."

"A cat and a rooster sat by a lake... Suddenly, the cat fell in the water and the rooster laughed. Moral of the story : When there's a wet pussy, there's a happy cock."

"Who is the supreme religious leader of the corns? Pope corn!"

"""Rapunzel! Let down your hair!"" RAPUNZEL: Hey hair, ya wanna go get ice cream? HAIR: Yeah! RAPUNZEL: Well too bad. Because we're not."