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Joke of the Day

"""Rapunzel! Let down your hair!"" RAPUNZEL: Hey hair, ya wanna go get ice cream? HAIR: Yeah! RAPUNZEL: Well too bad. Because we're not."

"I play my women like I play the cello. I don't play the cello."

"Dyslexic's of the world... ...untie!"

"Hats off to those people brave enough to wear those silly New Years hats at work. No... I meant take your hats off. You look stupid."

"Cop: can u describe your attacker Me: super aggressive, with a big nose & powerful arms Cop: u just described a seagull Me: he took my chips"

"Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the P is silent!"

"A man sees a midget in an orange jumpsuit climbing down a jail from a rope... ...he looks at him for a second, and says,""Well, that's a little condescending."""

"What do you do if your computer hums? Tell it to change its socsks!"

"Social Life Status: My friends are balloons with faces drawn on them. Stuart. My best friend. Popped two days ago."

"Did you hear about the famous nudist? He wanted more exposure."