89999

Joke of the Day

"People keep complaining about 'Let it Go'... The song never bothered me anyway."

"I bought some new shoes today from my dealer. The only problem is I don't know what she laced them with, and have been tripping all day."

"[Death Row] GUARD: last requests? INMATE: a little heroin would be nice TINKER BELL: *chloroforms guard* INMATE: I meant the drug stupid"

"why are there fences around graveyards? people are just dying to get in there these days."

"I once lip locked the soft ice dispenser at Dairy Queen until the manager had to hit me with a mop. So I know a little bit about rejection."

"Apparently my uncle sold his soul to the devil for a cure for baldness. Now there's going to be Hell Toupee."

"""THE WORLD IS GOING TO END!"" 2012: omg please no 2016: are we doing this or not"

"My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face."

"There's never been a single day in my life when I thought to myself "" thank god the cops are here"""

"Monday is a draft that was sent by mistake when God's cat jumped on the keyboard."