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Joke of the Day

"I bought some new shoes today from my dealer. The only problem is I don't know what she laced them with, and have been tripping all day."

"How did the rice crispy propose to the cornflake? It Snapped, Crackled and Popped the question."

"[1st date] HER: I love the idea of marriage. What are your thoughts on it? ME: [trying to impress her] I have 6 wives"

"Q: What did the ruler gain a reputation for while campaigning? A: Straight talk."

"Why was Hitler bad at math? Because could never find the Final Solution."

"Guns don't kill people People that have 5 kids, 1 cat, 2 ex-mother-in-laws & work 50 hours a week without wine in their life, kill people"

"What sound does a shotgun make? Kurt Kurt Cobain"

"How did the french guy feel when he got hit by a piece of bread? He felt pain."

"Why does Peter Pan always fly? Because he Neverlands"

"How can you tell if you have a high sperm-count? if she has to chew before swallowing."