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Joke of the Day

"I bought some new shoes today from my dealer. The only problem is I don't know what she laced them with, and have been tripping all day."

"A lot of people cry when they chop onions. The trick is not to form an emotional bond."

"What do tight pants and a cheap hotel have in common? No ballroom."

"Father Christmas: Excuse me but did I step on your toes on my way out to get an ice-cream? Lady: You certainly did! Father Christmas: Oh good! That means I'm back in the right row!"

"What kind of bees produce milk? Boobies"

"My old frog of 10 years finally croaked last night He'd been mute for years"

"There are always two ways to look at things. I prefer to look at them my way."

"I went to my 35th high school reunion and realized that ""the one that got away"" turned into a ""dodged a bullet."""

"Why did God create men ? Because dildos can't take out the trash."

"A pirate crew is fleeing from a whaling ship One pirate swabbie asks, ""This be the whaling ship driven by the wench with two vaginas?"" The pirate says, ""Aye, we best be wary of har poons."""