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Joke of the Day
"What is a shitzu? A zoo with no animals."
Next Joke
"[Nsfw] What's the difference between a dead baby and a cantaloupe? I don't fuck a cantaloupe before I eat it."
"What's balck on the bottom and white on the top? Society"
"""that's me in the corner."" - r.e.m. explaining how facetime works"
"What's the difference between Donald Trump and a bag of shit? The bag."
"Whats the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are about a buck and deer nuts are under a buck."
"how many people does it take to save the world? zero (compliments to my SO who thinks she made this up)"
"What kind of couch do gay people buy? Homo-Sectionals"
"How do you break up with a farmer long-distance? A John Deere letter."
"Unwritten rule: if you find an unconscious security guard you have to drag him to a supply closet and change into his uniform."