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Joke of the Day

"""that's me in the corner."" - r.e.m. explaining how facetime works"

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"Why are Cal Tech and MIT constantly Fighting? Because MIT blames Cal Tech for stealing their Feynman, and there will never be another man as Fine."
"If I learned anything from Forest Gump it's that people who love to run are retarded."
"Roses are red, violets are blue... I killed your family. You're next."
"A catholic priest is drowning - if only he had a buoy to hold onto"
"When I was a kid, we didn't have the internet. We had to go to the library to masturbate."
"Apparently you can't make a baby by adding water to baby powder, so don't waste your time."
"Who invented fractions? Henry the 1/8"
"What did the urban dog say to the other urban dog? Wad up Dawg?"
"what is Ceasar's slogan for his advertising company? Ceasar sell ads"