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Joke of the Day
"Gene Hackman is my favorite actor whose name sounds like a job description at Monsanto"
Next Joke
"""Siri, do you have free will?"" ""I am programmed to say 'Yes'."""
"My home security system is just 15 motion-activated Big Mouth Billy Basses."
"Met a beautiful girl down at the park today.. Met a beautiful girl down at the park today. Sparks flew, she fell at my feet and we ended up having sex right there and then. God, I love my new Taser..."
"Two eggs were boiling in a pan. The female egg said to the male egg, ""Ooh, look, I've got a crack."" The male egg replied, ""Calm down, I'm not hard yet."""
"YOU KNOW WHAT MAYBE I DO WAN'T TO MEET HOT SINGLES IN MY AREA"
"There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand binary and those who don't."
"She was a fax machine She kept her modem clean She was the best damn printer that I've ever seen"
"Why did the alcoholic never realize his dream of becoming a lawyer? He just couldn't pass the BAR."
"Prostitutes in Amsterdam are very demanding... The last one I went with made me wash my Old Man in the sink! Can't even remember why I took Dad in the first place."