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Joke of the Day

"Met a beautiful girl down at the park today.. Met a beautiful girl down at the park today. Sparks flew, she fell at my feet and we ended up having sex right there and then. God, I love my new Taser..."

"When someone says ""excuse me while I slip into something more comfortable"", how long are they usually gone? Two days seems like a long time."

"What do you call a fedora wearing neck beard president's wife? First M'lady"

"The Jews may be the ""Chosen People""... ... But the Muslims are the ""Randomly Selected""."

"There was a man so poor and broke... That when someone stole his wallet, the robber went bankrupt."

"I asked my wife what women really want and she said attentive lovers. Or maybe it was ""a tent of lovers."" I wasn't really listening."

"My girlfriend has 206 bones in her body 207, 206, 207, 206, 207......"

"So I visited www.optrex.co.uk... That was a site for sore eyes."

"Bartender: What can I get you? Me: Drunk"

"What did the turkey eat for Christmas? Nothing, it was already stuffed!"