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Joke of the Day

"Everyone suffering from diseases and natural disasters: hang in there, we're liking Facebook posts as fast as we can"

"Scientists are attempting to clone Ice Age Cave Lions because running into a raccoon when I take out the trash isn't scary enough."

"You'd think that with NSA reading our tweets all the time, they could star or retweet some of the good ones."

"To help me get to sleep I'm counting miners."

"I am really good at making jokes. Title."

"[in bed] M: Do that thing I like H: NO M: Please? H: *sighs [puts on British redcoat uniform] I have your tea M: I WILL NEVER PAY YOUR TAXES"

"I wish my ex girlfriend was a Ninja, this way I'd never see her"

"""This little computer"" said the sales clerk ""will do half of your job for you."" Studying the machine the senior VP said ""Fine I'll take two."""

"What does the bumper sticker say on Caitlyn Jenner's car? My Other Penis is a Vagina"

"There are no bad pictures; that's just how your face looks sometimes."