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Joke of the Day

"To help me get to sleep I'm counting miners."

"What do you get when you cross a sheltie and a cantaloupe? A melon collie."

"Your girlfriend is much prettier with her hair down. And by down' I mean over her face'."

"I told my sandwich to ""go make me a girlfriend"""

"I was watching women's volleyball during the Olympics and there was already a wrist injury But don't worry, I should be fine by Monday."

"what did 0 say to the 8? nice belt"

"So I typed in ""r/lastweeksposts""... And was immediately redirected to 9gag. Go figure."

"Q: Why was the blood donation unsuccessful? A: Because it was all in vein."

"What's pink and hard when it goes in, and soft and wet when it comes out? Bubble gum."

"The Conjuring 3: Evil spirits torment another single mom & her kids. The kids torment them back. They're better at it. The spirits flee."