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Joke of the Day

"You'd think that with NSA reading our tweets all the time, they could star or retweet some of the good ones."

"Whoever got my Steam account for Christmas plz realize those Japanese dress up games are for research only, I don't enjoy them. Plz understa"

"For people who say bernie sanders and is socialist ideals is going to revive the red scare... Actually we're blue... (Go bernie!)"

"If you think you're having a bad day.. just remember, somebody is going to have Snooki as a mom"

"What is a professors favourite snack? Academia Nuts."

"Anyone wanting to hide information from me should just put it in a spreadsheet and email it to me."

"Since I started dating my girlfriend a year ago I became a millionaire! 6 months ago I was a billionaire :("

"Luke use the father - Nuke I am your force Yay twist on words, so funneh. My friends says i'm hilarous."

"There are 10 kinds of people in the world. Those who understand binary and those who don't."

"I want you to fu.. this rusty pipe . FTW ??"