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Joke of the Day

"Cockroach logic A cockroach can make your girl scream louder than you can. Hence the first part of its name."

Next Joke
 
"The Detroit Lions"
"Friends: ""I need a new profile picture."" Me: ""I need a new face."""
"Does the carpet match the drapes? Nope, I've got hardwood."
"Botox has a new theme song https://search.yahoo.com/yhs/search?p=i+can%27t+feel+my+face&ei=UTF-8&hspart=mozilla&hsimp=yhs-004"
"Kids should think twice about threatening to run away from home. It only fills their parents with false hope."
"*gets stabbed ""Omg that knife was clean right??"""
"Kinda messed up that marijuana is just a plant. Like, what other plants are drugs? *tries to smoke a carrot* Yea I guess I'm feelin it"
"Well... You know what they say... So I guess I don't need to tell you..."
"72 What is 72? 69 with 3 people watching!"