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Joke of the Day

"My best guy friend and I vowed if we're still single at 45, we def won't marry each other because who wants to marry someone no one likes?"

Next Joke
 
"Scary shit happens in horror movies at 3am. So when hubby woke up screaming with a leg cramp at 3am, I threw the bible at him."
"Today, I looked in the mirror and didn't even recognize myself... Then, I realized it was a window."
"I wouldn't say I was going bald, but.... When I asked my barber to cut my hair, he replied, ""which one?"""
"I got in touch with my inner self today... I'm never buying cheap toilet paper again"
"I used to be addicted to soap... but now I'm clean."
"What's the difference between a punchline and a cute girl? Sometimes I get the punchline :("
"How many morons does it take to change a lightbulb? 14,000. 1 to hold the lightbulb, 4 to hold the chair, and 13,995 to spin the house."
"Sportscenter, episode 542783747363467367984768474756431063389425993399064375493638386747899532689432462567953467347: Men talking animatedly."
"My Doctor Wrote Me a Prescription... My doctor wrote me a prescription for dailysex but my girlfriend insists it says dyslexia."