130616

Joke of the Day

"How many morons does it take to change a lightbulb? 14,000. 1 to hold the lightbulb, 4 to hold the chair, and 13,995 to spin the house."

"There are two secrets to being a successful businessman. 1) Never tell people everything you know... 2)"

"Me: ""Get me a newspaper.""Friend: ""Don't be silly. Here. Borrow my iPad."" Poor spider never knew what hit it."

"Where do Muslims go when they die? Everywhere."

"Dad joke #31939: A guy walks into a bar. Ouch."

"Going to the middle east for Christmas Because Christmas is da bomb there... Came up that myself. I'll walk myself out..."

"A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. Unfortunately, the beer doesn't understand English commands. But the bartender can speak easy."

"How many Dubstep fans does it take to catch a fish? Three. One to fish and two to catch the bass as it drops."

"Boss: HR wants to see you Me: What for? Boss: Mandatory drug test Me: Oh man, I really can't do any more drugs after the weekend I had"

"What is Asia's favourite sitcom? Everybody loves Ramen."