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Joke of the Day

"Apparently Pound Town is NOT a British dollar store"

"It's no coincidence the people who call the cops when parties get loud are the people who never get invited to parties."

"How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Suck his dick."

"There was a time when I was thin. Sure I was six years old, but I'm confident I can get back in those clothes."

"The principal at my school called me in to his office today. He said ""I've just had a rock thrown through my window, are you responsible?"" No, I'm irresponsible. That's why I threw it."

"[offensive] what's pink and covered in cobwebs Madeline McCanns bike"

"What do you call a bunch of black kids playing in leaves? Raisin bran"

"I only carry cash anymore in case I need to make a dramatic exit in the middle of coffee with a detective"

"What do eggs do for fun? They crack jokes."

"technically speaking being gay used to make me happy"