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Joke of the Day

"""tell me doc, is it bad news?"" ""you've got piles"" ... ""piles of health that is! LOL"" ... ""except in your legs. gonna have to amputate those"""

"If you love someone, set them free. If they return... something, something, Justin Bieber's a lesbian."

"""It's okay, little buddy. Mommy cries when her bottle is empty, too."""

"I have coffee before looking at art. Brews before hues."

"Rap is 75% crap"

"Why do the Romans use more eggs in their omelets than the French? Because the Romans feel that when it comes to eggs, you can't have too many ovum. But in France, they believe that one egg is un ouef."

"Just because it's called make-up... doesn't mean it's supposed to makeup 99% of your face."

"What's the difference between snowmen and snow women? Snow balls"

"Why did Hitler kill himself? He looked at his gas bill."

"Some girl just caught me staring at her crotch so I gave her two thumbs up. She only deserved one, but it's the holidays and shit."