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Joke of the Day

"If you love someone, set them free. If they return... something, something, Justin Bieber's a lesbian."

"A man walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing nothing but plastic wrap... The psychiatrist says, ""I can clearly see you're nuts""."

"Studies show ""not jokes"" are coming back and are likely to be funnier than ever. Not."

"Christmas is shit. Whoever invented it should be nailed to a cross."

"HELLO FELLOW HUMAN TEENS I HEARD THE COOLEST PLACE FOR US TEENS TO HANG OUT IS The Colossal Pillar of Wasp Eggs LETS GO DO NOT BRING WEAPONS"

"My husband is doing that cute thing where he would happily drive into oncoming traffic & kill us all while trying to find a bug on his leg."

"who called it your 4th stepfather instead of mom beau number 5"

"Just because it's Friday the 13th, people seem to think that horrible things are going to happen, like another shitty horror movie being released."

"""I'm so glad that pasting that text included the format of the original document!"" -- No one. Ever."

"[woman on death row] ""Your last meal?"" - I don't care. You pick. ""Fish?"" - Gross no ""Steak?"" - No. Anything is fine tho. ""Pasta?"" - Ew carbs"