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Joke of the Day

"Cloudy with a chance of meatballs? Talk about a meatier shower!"

"Did you hear about the guy that was half Black and half Japanese ... ... every December 7th he would attack Pearl Bailey."

"Life tip - buy a birthday card with your morning bottle of wine and people will think it's a gift. You are welcome."

"A line to use on Polish people You must be a magnetic Pole because I'm attracted to you."

"What's the best thing about being homeless... You don't have to duck and cover during an earthquake."

"Call me self-indulgent, but I only stay in motels that advertise ""color TV"" and ""air-conditioning"" on their sign out front."

"Texting while driving: Bad. Wrestling a shark while driving: STILL LEGAL! WOOHOOO!!!"

"What's the difference between being hungry and being horny? Where you put the cucumber."

"If I was a farmer the first thing I'd do is have a meeting with the roosters & cows & tell them to wake up around 9:30 instead of 5."

"I can't wait until the 50th Anniversary Special... I'm very interested in who JFK will regenerate as."