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Joke of the Day

"A secretary and her boss Secretary: do you wanna go out for dinner tonight? Boss: I don't know. Check if im free while I go get some coffee."

"If it looks like I'm typing for five minutes I'm really just trying to spell diarrhea."

"If someone holds eye contact with you for longer than 3 seconds, make sure you urinate to establish dominance"

"Why did the chord get kicked out of the bar? Because he was Aminor"

"Rude coworker said something very dumb & mean to me. She blamed it on pregnancy brain. I asked her if she was having triplets."

"I wish I could replace my central nervous system with a central confidence system."

"""I can't wait to nail you later"" *whispers to the new picture I just bought*"

"Hold.. Hold.. Hold.. CHARGE!!!!! -Ice at the bottom of a glass"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To show the opossum it could be done."

"yea whataver ... i have a gf shes uhhh *looks around* imported. i mean foreign. yea shes a Modelo too. no i said model. a very especial girl"