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Joke of the Day
"What do dildos and tofu have in common? They're both substitutes for meat."
Next Joke
"My collection of Swiss watches was stolen in Spain. Adios Omegas."
"Fox news in four words: ""I'm not racist, but..."""
"What do Philadelphia Eagles fans do after they win the superbowl? Turn of madden and go to bed. (I'm an eagles fan)"
"I went on a date with a girl called simile... But I don't know what I metaphor."
"ME: *3D prints a girlfriend* Hey baby 3D Girlfriend: *3D prints a boyfriend* I have a boyfriend"
"Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay guys house. (awkward silence) knock knock. (who's there?) The chicken. Feel free to try on your friends, its a good laugh."
"My wife just made a ""special"" dinner ""just for me"" for no apparent reason. I'm going to die, right ?"
"A good thing about being single is I don't have to worry about anyone flushing while I shower. Or caring that I exist or whatever."
"I make spelling mistakes alot and when I say alot I mean a lot."