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Joke of the Day

"I went on a date with a girl called simile... But I don't know what I metaphor."

"Push up bras A push-up bra is like a bag of chips. You open it up and its half empty."

"What's the worst part about being a railroad conductor? The training."

"Why is it best to ask photographers personal questions at night? (X-post r/photography) Because they open up when it gets dark."

"You hear about those robbers who steal shoes for fun? It's how they get their kicks."

"I'm trying to think of a good joke about star wars But they all seem too forced"

"Who hasn't had Somalian food? Somalian children"

"I am a Amish man with no access to the internet, AMA Did you even read the title?"

"I was thinking of getting myself Cryogenically frozen but now I have cold feet"

"Worst case scenario for the 'coin behind the ear' trick is finding a tumour there and being accused of dark magic."