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Joke of the Day

"I couldn't believe it when my wife announced she was leaving me for being too lazy. Especially after I'd spent all morning taking the Christmas decorations down....."

"My mate recently lost all of his fingers in a horrible accident. I can't even begin to imagine how he feels."

"Why did the cow return to the marijuana field? It was the pot calling the cattle back."

"What did the Medieval Gynecologist say to his patients? At your cervix, m'lady"

"It's unfair to call me lactose intolerant when you consider what I'm willing to go through for lactose."

"My girlfriend was crying because she had gum in her hair. I told her to cut it out."

"Wanna know why reddit sucks?"

"A horse walks into a bar... The bartender says, ""Hey!"" The horse replies, ""you read my mind!"""

"Why is the Mississippi so wide? Because Mr. Sippi is hung like a horse."

"In the south, you're either ghetto, or a farmer. You can't be both, otherwise... *It's racism.*"