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Joke of the Day

"Every spider has the same powers as Spiderman, yet none of them choose to be superheroes. This is everything you need to know about spiders."

"How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna ride bikes?!?"

"""To hell with it, thats good enough."" - every person after theyve ever tried to iron a shirt. Ever."

"What'sApp Me: Mom, what's for dinner? Mom : typing ... *gets married* *have kids* *gets old* *dies* *goes to hell* Mom: Fish, honey!"

"My high-school wrestling coach called me ""the raccoon"" cause I was small but feisty and ate garbage and gave people lyme disease"

"This coffee would work better if I could throw it at people."

"Almost considered doing something with my life, but then I sat down and logged into twitter."

"What do you call a singing laptop? Adele"

"the face you make when a stranger's dog starts sniffing your crotch"

"Time to get in my wheel box to go to my work box so I can pay for my home box until I'm ready for my death box."